losing and friends

Yesterday I lost. I lost and it sucked because that feeling you get when you lose sucks. I  felt terrible because it was as if all the hard work that we put into everything was wasted. People say coming second is not bad, but its not the same. It's still called losing and I hate losing.

One thing that really touched me though was how unbelievably supportive my house was. They are amazing. I really can't believe it. Not only my house but also some of my friends who were so nice.
It scares me sometimes how much I undervalue my friends. It scares me that someday I won't be able to see them every single day. Who is going to comfort me after I leave school? I'm scared. I don't want it to ever end.

Fix me again

Long talks can fix a lot of things.
I now know for a fact that this is true.
I am so blessed to have friends that won't stop comforting me till they know I'm feeling better.
Not everyone has that. I really should count my blessings.
I also have a mother who understands me so perfectly well.
How can I be unhappy when I have all these awesome people in my life. I must be unbelievably selfish or something.
We all say that there are going to ups and downs and yet we feel so bad if something happens to us.
Like the Shaytards say "whatever the circumstances, you can chose too be happy"
what would I ever do without these people in my life and maybe a little bit of shaytards?:p
I donno.

I am strong

I am a strong person.
I am me.
I over think things.
I get scared of silly things.
I'm scared of getting embarrassed.
But, I am strong.
I stand up for what I believe in.
I do my best to make things better. To make my life and the life of others better.
I am ready to fight.
I believe.
Bad things might happen, but I feel like I can persevere.
I will.
I will not give up.

What happens

This year has been amazing to me.
So many things that I never dreamed could happen, happened.
It's crazy.
Did I really do something to deserve this?
I believe in karma and that what goes around comes around.
Everything can't be great for too long.
It's got to end right?
I hope I'm wrong.
Maybe life doesn't have to suck. People just make it seem like it does.
So yeah, my life has changed this year. I've always wanted some things which I feel like I got this year.
I'm happy.
I hope this lasts.

Scaredness

I am scared. Of what it going to happen in the future.
I'm scared of being embaressed.
I'm scared that maybe someone will judge me when I make mistakes.
I'm scared and I don't want to be scared.
I'm scared I won't have fun.
I'm scared that this is all one big mistake, even though i know it isnt
I hope everything will turn out okay.
Inside, I have a feeling that it will.

Beda! 6 days late

Hi

So I'm blogging again, First time in 2 months. yay.

So I'm going to try my hand at BEDA. 

It's raining outside and I'm bored. I think I'm supposed to be studying or doing research on Slovenia, but I don't want to.

I went to see my friend's arangetram yesterday. She was really good. 

I'm scared that a few years from now there will be no one to play the tabla and the flute and the sitar and stuff.

What happens if we all want to learn the guitar?

I want to learn how to play the guitar too and now I feel guilty about it.

I'm feeling very empty right now.

Atleast I think I am.

I want to go watch some TV. 

I like TV. It makes me happier.

Sorry if this was depressing.

I'm not depressed. It's raining and I'm sleepy and i want to sleep but I can't because I have to go somewhere.

bye.

Mockingjay

And I just finished reading Mockingjay by Suzzane Collins . And I don't think I liked it .
One good thing about the book is that you never feel like putting it down .
The reason I didn't like it is because too many people die.
Also in the end , not one person is happy .
There is just so much sadness .
I think the author wants it to be like   its a real war and lots of people are going to die but she makes it seem like their death dosn't even matter.
Basically none of the characters that die get a proper goodbye and i guess that's supposed to make it more real or something but I didn't like that part .
There is a message i think. like the fact that you can never have just one ruler or leader and i also really liked the part when their rebelling and she says to president snow that he can't just keep bombing all the districts because if they die there will be nothing to support the capitol and she says "If we burn...you burn with us "

Anyway that is what I have to say about the book . I can't say it was bad because it did have some really good parts .

Favorite character in Mockingjay - Finnick Odair.

WORLD CUP ,CRICKET, INDIA.

Eeeeeeppp!!! WE WON!!!!
OMG WE WON .we as in INDIA.
I'm just sooo happy as are the rest of the people of India.
What an amazing match it was .  Mahendra Singh Dhoni was absolutely BRILLIANT!
And so was the rest of the team of course.
I also should mention that the Sri Lankan captain has so much dignity and he carries himself so well even though he just lost maybe one of the most important matches of his life .
That was very cool of him .
And of course there's Sachin Tendulkar . It was so nice too see that he was so happy .
I guess we will all remember 2 April 2011 as the day we won the world cup for the second time .
It was a day when the whole country was bleeding blue......it was a day (as vivek oberoi said ) that billions of indian hearts were beating for 11 men in blue to lift the world cup and make the nation proud .
It was a day when everywhere in India the tricoloured flag was proudly flying .
India is not perfect . We have soo many problems . There is corruption , poverty , inequality in someplaces and many other things , but its stuff like this, like winning the World cup when you can say itsokay we're always going to have problems but things like this really bring the country together, everyone can feel the patriotism in the air and say that we are truly PROUD to part of this Amazing nation .
We can say that we are proud to be INDIANS .

I AM PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN.

2nd vlog.

So I'm bored again as usual . I decide that I'm now going to make a conscious effort to type correctly with proper apostrophe marks and making my 'i's capital. I'm not sue thats proper english but anyway..

So yesterday I went to my friends house for a sleepover . We decided to take her tent and camp on the terrace . But we ended up camping in a room next to the terrace in which the fan didn't work and there were so many freaking mosquitoes . I HATE mosquitoes! But then who doesn't . I guess maybe an Entomologist or something .

Anyway now I have to find something to do for the rest of the holidays . I was think of maybe learning the guitar . That should be fun right? So I went on youtube to see what kind of guitar i should buy and apparently it's a lot harder than I thought. So as of now I don't really know what to do .

I want to become a Lawyer when  I grow up . Atleast that's what i think i want to do . So for next year I took my combination as Commerce with History instead of Math . A lot of people told me to take math because apparently it will help me in the long run or something but I don't want to do two more years of something I hate......... I've been given a choice and I'm going to take what's easier for me and what I may enjoy more.

So that's my story . I will blog again tomorrow  . I think . :)

A Start

Helo there . im me and i hardly ever type. which is why all my i's are not in capital. but for me it just takes to much effort . yes im wierd .
but everyone thinks their wierd so i guess im normal . i dont know what i'm saying .

so our holidays just started i have nothing much to do so i decided to start blogging .
this should be fun right ?
 but the thing is i dont realy want anyone to read this . so im not going to tell anyone .

i used to have a diary once . i guess i wrote in it for about a month . after that i got to scared that people will find it and read it and find out that i'm a horrible person .
well i'm not that bad .but i guess everyone says that .
so today is a monday and my parents are going to work and my brother is going to school because his holidays havnt started yet . i dont  know where to put the apostrophe mark in havnt .i dont think i even know the spelling of apostrophe .

if by chance you are reading this blog please tell me. in the comments . im still not sure how this works..
i just went to google ,typed "blogging sites" and got a long list
the best ones were apparently wordpress and blogspot . but i chose blogspot because it sounded cooler .

so yeah today im going out to this shopping place with my two best friends . but i know were brobably not going to shop at all . we normally just eat .
and after that were going to have a sleepover :) i like sleepovers.
but my family dosnt so its sometimes hard to convince them to let me go .

i finished reading my sisters keeper last night . its an extremely sad book.
i like sad books . i like books where people die because they're sad.
sad books make me think . about a lot of things .

my grandad just walked in and asked me how the computer works . he says he wants to learn .
so i went on google and i said he could type anything he wants and he can learn about it and stuff but he still needs to know how to use the mouse .

this is turning out to be a very long blog. i guess i didn't know i had this much to say . most of the stuff i've said is pretty boring but i dont really care.

so yeah i guess thats it . i dont really know how to end . am i supposed to say bye ?
i guess i will .
bye :)