I'm afraid. Of so many things. It's ridiculous.

people

We see so many people every single day. In college, in shops, anywhere really, that we will never ever speak to in our lives and some of these people probably have some amazing stories that I will never get to know. So the few people I am fortunate to meet in this life, I will not hesitate to try and get to know everything they have to say. Sometimes people are more than willing to speak, but they just need a push because they're scared that the other person just isn't interested. Imagine how much people are missing out on.

Honestly one of my most favorite things in the world is to watch people talk. To watch people talk about something that they are passionate about.

People are just too interesting.

Home

In exactly one months time I will be going back home. I really really love my home although I have never seen the place I'm so eager to go to.
My family is shifting houses again, and they will have already shifted by the time I go back. I'm going to miss the place where I spent a year of my life but its not too bad I think. I realised now that when I think of home I see my grandparents and my mom and brother and father and in that order. This makes me happy because my home is a happy place now. I never thought of my home as a happy place when I was back in bangalore and living with everyone. But now I do. Now it's something I look forward to going to.
This post is going to become dramatic now or maybe not.
I'm going to talk about the first time I went back home after spending a month in Pune.
The first thing I noticed was how nice and white the walls were. The walls here are a wierd yellow-white here and my side has fungus on it. It's pretty disgusting.
I also walk barefoot in my house everywhere because the floors are clean and they are cleaned everyday. The floors here are dirty here.
My bed in my house is big and I stretched when I went back. When I travelled to Christ in an auto I couldn't help but look around and see the amazing beauty of my city. The air seemed fresher too.

I just took a beak from writing this just now because there was a cockroach thing on my towel. There are no cockroach things on my towels in bangalore.

This post makes me seem like a complain box but I'm actually not. I'm really appreciate what I have. But sometimes I just need to rant.

Rudy

My favorite book of all time - The book thief by markus zusak is being made into a movie and the trailer of the movie has been released.
I cannot believe that rudy and liesel and Rosa and all these characters that I love will now Have some stupid pretty face.
I am going to describe what I think of Rudy here so that I can remember how I saw him in my head when I read the book because once I watch the movie I might get used to the new face and I dont want that.
Rudy
dirty yellow hair. Not too tall and very skinny. He wears shorts most of the time and his knees and elbows are always dirty. He smiles. He's not upset with his life. He doesn't have any hate in his eyes ever. He is kind and you can see it on his face. He's the kind of guy who will not just look at a person and look away. He observes and he never seems afraid. He is innocent but not naive. He is carefree and he believes.

  “You might well ask just what the hell he was thinking. The answer is, probably nothing at all.He'd probably say he was exercising his God-given right to stupidity.” 

When I though about writing this I though that I had a lot to say but I can't put it into word very accurately. There's a picture of him in my head and I don't want that to go away. I love this character, he is absolutely beautiful. And the friendship that liesel and him share is perfect. They never need to say that they'll always be there for each other. They just are. They don't need to show the world that they are best friends. They just are.
I'm pretty upset that this book is being made into a movie. It just can't be.
But I shall get over it I guess.
That's it for now. That's all I have to say

puness

I would never say this out loud but the chapatis that are made in my house are friken Yummy. They are actually the best that I've ever tasted. Even the dal and the potato dish that my grandmom makes is so good! So is the bread we get from the bakery nearby.
These are the things that I'm going to start missing first when I go to Pune. Actually it'll probably be the nice western toilet that we have here but My friend said that I'll get nice thighs when I use the Indian style. : P
Soon after I'm going to miss the Amazing Bangalore weather. It is honestly so perfect and the weather has such an important role to play when it comes to the mood of a person.
And then comes the people. My family of course.  I love them twice as much as I hate them. And my people. My friends. I've grown to love love them way to much for my own good. I know I'll make new friends but I just can't imagine ever being as close with them as I am with my old ones.
This is going to be like a once in a lifetime experience that is going to last for 5 years. I'll get sick of it, I'll cry, and somehow I'll find a way to scream at my parents for all of it but I know I'll learn.
It'll be fine. And I'm going to try my hardest to like my life there.
Ok bye.
And I love my moms soy chicken too!

On choices

"This is our time to shine." This is one of the few moments in my life that all my dreams are within reach and I have so many opportunities and all I need to do is make a choice.
I was looking at my last post and oh my god sometimes I act like an idiot.
I was also thinking about the choices I make and how I always find it really hard to make a simple choice because I'm so confused as to what is right and wrong, but then I read this quote -
" Sometimes we make the right choice for the wrong reason. And sometimes we make the wrong choice for the right reason. In truth, there is no wrong or right, there is only choice. All of it is a lesson which brings us to where we need to be. "
It makes sense. I don't think I will ever make a very bad decision. I know that I'm a pretty okay person and I know that my brain is a good one and that my heart is a good one and whatever decision I make is because I know that there is some good in it.
It'll work out. Whatever that 'it' is.

I feel like I'm making all the wrong decisions in life, and I can't take it back now.
Why the hell didn't I work harder to get a law seat. And when asked to chose a language, why the hell did I chose French? I've never studied french in my life.
I'm so scared about everything right now.